Guy Friends Podcast

It’s a Very Special Maternal-But-Not-Suffocating Episode...

jnalv — Tue, 14 May 2013 23:20:00 -0500

It’s a Very Special Maternal-But-Not-Suffocating Episode of the Guy Friends Podcast!

Aaron’s Mom has a question for the Guy Friends about words of motherly advice that they would pass on to their own children. We sift through the pearls of wisdom and nuggets of truth in search of the rare and coveted pearl-nuggets.

Also: BABY NAMES!

And Josh’s Mom asks for the most formative global event of our lives. Ever the industry gurus, the Guy Friends realize that your show can’t make it to the big leagues without a 9/11 episode… Enjoy (?)!

Sam Cooke - (Somebody) Ease My Troubled Mind (Sampled Remix Beat) (Prod. By Mr Fivestar) (preetymusic) / CC BY 3.0

In this episode: Do normal vegetarian men exist? Or are they...

jnalv — Mon, 06 May 2013 22:39:40 -0500

In this episode:

Do normal vegetarian men exist? Or are they all debased, no-good hepcats swingin’ their lewd jazz and shooting their veins full of the Devil’s marihuana? The Guy Friends assure a listener that she can find a vegetarian man who’s just as boring as she is. Just remember to eat plenty of dark greens and legumes — iron is the sexiest vitamin!

On a more serious note, a listener asks the Guy Friends what’s up with Creep-Os with “yellow fever” (NOT OUR TERM). Do men who claim to have it understand how ugly it is? Most importantly: by what rubric can you discern an innocuous interest from an obnoxious obsession?

Mariah Carey - Honey (Paul Heaven Hip Hop RMX) (Paul Heaven Music) / CC BY 3.0

In this episode: The Guy Friends tackle a thought experiment —...

jnalv — Thu, 02 May 2013 00:45:45 -0500

In this episode:

The Guy Friends tackle a thought experiment — You break up with your boyfriend. A month later, you get back together. You ask him whether he slept with anyone in that period of time when you totally weren’tdating, and no one had any obligation toward anyone, and life was an open, sexy road. He says that he did. Do you freak out, like a crazy person? [y/n]

And a listener wants to hit on a dude she flirts with at her neighborhood grocery store. The catch: he’s an employee… who works there. Is it bad manners to hit on The Working Man? Is it a bad idea to sully one’s own feeding grounds? Or should she approach her meat market with a laissez-faire attitude?

Girls Love Beyonce (Wulves Slowed N Throwed Edit) - Drake ft. James Fauntleroy(Wulves) / CC BY 3.0

No episode tonight — enjoy this GIF of @AMHorton and @JNalv,...

jnalv — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 23:08:45 -0500

No episode tonight — enjoy this GIF of @AMHorton and @JNalv, composed by the brilliant @TheSSKate.

In this episode: An intrepid listener wants to put her...

jnalv — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 21:50:00 -0500

In this episode:

An intrepid listener wants to put her spelunking skills to the test and take a journey deep down to the center of her boyfriend. Her boyfriend’s butt, to be exact. Anally. How does she broach this topic with her unwitting target? Is there a stigma against butt-stuff amongst straight dudes? The Guy Friends’ bodies are ready… to answer this maturely.

And a listener’s boyfriend had a friend in town, but she was mega-rude! Boorish, even!

Boorish. BOORISH.

She was trying hard to curb her own jealousy, and yet her boyfriend did NOTHING. How could he allow his old friend to act rude at a social gathering? Did he know how hard she was trying to not be jealous? Doesn’t he understand that his old buddy from Good Times Past is conspiring with the Freemasons and Monsanto to destroy their relationship?!

Daft Punk - Get Lucky (AAGG Rework)(Agg Caetano) / CC BY 3.0

In this episode: We hear from a young woman who has...

jnalv — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 17:13:22 -0500

In this episode:

We hear from a young woman who has “recently unlocked the Pandoric box of orgasmic delight.” First of all, who knew that Pandoric was a word? Secondly, she wants to know whether she’s allowed to keep faking it sometimes. Aaron and Josh do NOT agree.

Plus, should you be worried about the potential for getting in-between two brothers and starting a Cain and Abel-esque feud that will span centuries? (Probably not.)

Music: Asap Rocky feat.(Drake) 2 Chainz (Kendrick Lamar) - F*ckin Problems (DJ DX) Official Remix (DJ DX) / CC BY 3.0

No episode just yet — it’s aging like a fine wine!

jnalv — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:15:26 -0500

No episode just yet — it’s aging like a fine wine!

In this episode: SCANDAL ON MATRIMONY MOUNTAIN! A listener is...

jnalv — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 00:51:11 -0500

In this episode:

SCANDAL ON MATRIMONY MOUNTAIN! A listener is getting ~*~flirty~*~ text messages from an engaged dude. How should she deal with the semi-advances of a man who’s about to throw it all away… for happiness? Should she do anything at all? Or should she save him from either of his horrible mistakes?

And for the second half of this episode, enjoy a selection from our academic paper: What To Do When The Guy You’re Boning Won’t Publicly Couch-Cuddle You: Sex, Society, and Signaling in Netflix-Era Modernity (Horton, Aaron, and Josh Nalven. “April 9, 2013.” The Guy Friends Podcast Chicago: Kate Dries Media Intl. Web.)

DJ Hypnotik - Sexy Can I Remix (DJ Hypnotik) / CC BY 3.0

chiaraatik: What if you came over and my shelf was just lined...

jnalv — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 00:26:25 -0500

chiaraatik:

What if you came over and my shelf was just lined with my own book? What if I gave one to every guy I’ve ever gone out with? What if I give these as hostess gifts?

Our old friend and pen-pal @ChiaraAtik recently published a tome of ancient, eldritch secrets… You should check it out!

If she gives you one as a hostess gift, demand her autograph — this is a first edition! How else are you going to save up for your retirement?

OUR OWN KATE DRIES (@THESSKATE) GOING HARD IN THE PAINT

jnalv — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 23:59:00 -0500

OUR OWN KATE DRIES (@THESSKATE) GOING HARD IN THE PAINT

In this episode: A listener contacts us from the other side of...

jnalv — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 14:30:08 -0500

In this episode:

A listener contacts us from the other side of the world about some out-of-nowhere body shaming. What do you do when the 44-year old “kept” Russian man you’re boning pokes you in the belly and implies that you need to work out? We’ve all been there!

And after a particularly Me’h first date, a guy still comes in to give our listener a kiss. Why do guys do that? Can’t they tell when you’re bored? Why do they feel entitled to making their big dumb face touch your bored, grumpy face?

If you like bad accents and uncomfortable side-hugs, then tune in!

(Polyo Child) / CC BY 3.0

In this episode: Another for-a-friend question — you guys are...

jnalv — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:29:00 -0500

In this episode:

Another for-a-friend question — you guys are so concerned recently! What should one think about a Craigslist post that offers a hot ticket, paired with a hot date? Is this request creepy, legit… or both? Can she just show up to take the ticket sans date, or would that be extremely tacky and mean and she totally shouldn’t?

And a superchill listener had a contraception failure requiring a late-night run to CVS for Plan B (and beer!). Her dude of a few weeks offered to pay for it, like a champion. Later, she learns that it cost QUOTE fifty fucking dollars ENDQUOTE. Should she worry about who pays for it? More importantly: are these the Coolest Humans Ever?

“Polyo Child — April Wavves.” (Polyo Child) / CC BY 3.0

theonion: Least Popular Dating Websites: More Statshots Re:...

jnalv — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:06:46 -0500

theonion:

Least Popular Dating Websites: More Statshots

Re: this week’s episode…

In this episode: Follow-up from a listener who had a secret,...

jnalv — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 00:58:00 -0500

In this episode:

Follow-up from a listener who had a secret, slightly life-altering medical issue but was hiding it from the dudes she was dating (and us!). Not only is she mostly OK, but we were right, and her pee is the color of fruit punch! EVERYONE WINS.

A more serious question from a listener whose boyfriend has recently become overly-negative — and she’s starting to feel it. How should she go about addressing the issue to him directly without making him feel bad about feeling bad? The Guy Friends do their best to lend their friend a hand.

And finally: a question about all the annoying bells and whistles on the Guy Friends’ favorite dating site, OkCupid. What does it mean when a dude “chooses” you? What does it mean when he doesn’t answer your message in response? Ever the OkCupid Experts, the Guy Friends bring the full brunt of their wisdom to bear and remind you of that thing you always knew, but so quickly forgot: OkCupid is completely meaningless, until it’s not.

“Keyshia Cole - Let it go remix” (djdannyiLL) / CC BY 3.0

In this episode: Everyone’s calling in for their friends!...

jnalv — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 13:59:28 -0500

In this episode:

Everyone’s calling in for their friends! Aaron own father writes in on behalf of a friend who thinks that she travels too much to date. Can a Jet-Setting Playgirl™ find the time to settle down? Or is Prince Charming’s flight delayed… indefinitely?!

And another friend is concerned about her bro’s girlfriend and her insatiable sexual appetite! Her friend claims that she is wearing him out! Should she save him from this ex-sorority girl-turned-prison wildcat, all hopped up on reefer sticks and that dirty, freaky jazz? Or should she tighten her bonnet and leave him to be eviscerated?

Zombie (Heart) Attack (b_minus) / CC BY 3.0

In this episode: Urinal etiquette. An inquiring listener is...

jnalv — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 13:50:04 -0600

In this episode:

Urinal etiquette. An inquiring listener is dying to know the ancient and sacrosanct codes of conduct that each man must obey when the wieners come out. The Guy Friends throw their oaths of secrecy to the wind!

And a listener asks the Guy Friends for advice when it comes to getting stalked by an ex’s ex! Despite being the better human and backing away slowly, she’s found herself the target of not-so-subtle warnings. Twitter following and unfollowing, Facebook stalking, late-night Snapchats from stolen phones — it’s an edge-of-your-seat thriller! Can the Guy Friends help this listener out, and convince the police commissioner to clear her name before the real killer assassinates the Mayor during his re-election speech? Stay tuned!

Kimbra - Settle Down (DISCOFORGIA Remix) (DISCOFORGIA) / CC BY 3.0

In this episode: A very bright and well-meaning listener wants...

jnalv — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 20:24:00 -0600

In this episode:

A very bright and well-meaning listener wants to know how to use her vibrator on her boyfriend. The Guy Friends celebrate her gumption… and offer their words of caution. Aside from vibrators made for the job this may be the sort of thing that stays on the drawing board. Are you or your partner a male-bodied human who likes a little machine-assisted flutter in the Nutter Butters? Did you think that sentence was gross? Listen in — we do much worse!

A dear listener has turned 21 years old. TODAY. February 26th, The Year of Our Lord Thirteen and Twain Thousand! She asks the Guy Friends for advice in her future exploits, dating and otherwise. Though they’re basically taxpaying toddlers themselves, the Guy Friends do what they can to share their paltry wisdoms.

Have a Happy Birthday, but don’t drink too much!

Dislexia - Lady (Your Making Me High) (dislexiadotca) / CC BY 3.0

Massive @TheGuyFriends shout-out to @soundcloud and their customer support. If you guys ever need...

jnalv — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:13:14 -0600

Massive @TheGuyFriends shout-out to @soundcloud and their customer support. If you guys ever need relationship advice, you let us know!

In this episode: When is it a good time to reveal a...

jnalv — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:19:00 -0600

In this episode:

When is it a good time to reveal a “non-life threatening, non-STD and non-forever health issue” while dating? Is complete, up-front transparency mandatory in mate selection, or is it none of anyone’s beeswax? More improtantly: is there any set rubric for medical seriousness, or is it all a matter of perspective? Feel better!

A listener’s boyfriend has laid out his Zero Tolerance Threesome Policy. For all kinds! Naturally, she runs into the arms of the two hunkiest Guy Friends she has. Sensing her vulnerability, they respond to her question instead. So close!

Need a Dollar - Aloe Blacc (Azzamon Remix) (AjM (aka Azzamon)) / CC BY 3.0

Check out our Valentine’s Day appearance this morning on...

jnalv — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 14:02:28 -0600

Check out our Valentine’s Day appearance this morning on Vocalo.org’s The Morning AMp!

WE MADE IT TO THE BIG TIME. Special thanks to Brian, Molly, and Maggie for having us!